Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Surviving The Dungeon, Expeditiously

This week's question: How high should a wizard hike up their skirt when fleeing for their life?

(roll 1d6)

  1. Knee-level. You've only got to outrun the fighter, who is wearing full-plate anyway so he can soak a hit or two before going down, right?
  2. Thigh-high. This provides a solid maneuverability for kicking down obstacle doors that might be in your way. There's already Stars and Moons on your robes, so a little extra flash of moon isn't going to be noticeable.
  3. Waist-high. Pursuers may have to roll a saving throw vs. Death Ray/Poison, depending on hygiene or dungeon diet.
  4. Can't actually bend over to grab a hem. Oh wait, that's the player, not the player character.
  5. Creative Use of a Floating Disc spell. Put some Juice in your Caboose. Choo-choo noises optional.
  6. The Drawer-Dropper. For the truly desperate, this technique has only paid off once when Izridian the Invoker kept his spare spell components someplace "extra safe" and the pursuing flailsnail had a reaction to his Mystic Bathsalts.


  1. I rolled a 5, which reminds me of a little fact. I don't know of any player character that has actually used Floating Disc.

  2. I would have used floating disc last time I played a wizard, except that the DM never gave us treasure.