tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27642272475452452162024-02-19T06:46:11.676-08:00The Riders of LohanA Basic/Expert D&D Campaign BlogShon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-85738573102447349582014-03-03T17:16:00.000-08:002014-03-03T17:16:01.664-08:00A Typical Night at the Coffin Nail<div>
It is the height of summer in Yem, and a fresh blanket of snow is being laid over the island. You approach The Coffin Nail, whose smoking chimney promises warmth and reasonably good food. At the corner of the building, several chained ghouls snarl as you approach. They bear The Dread Prince's brand, and are common enough a sight.</div>
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As you swing the door open, you hear a heated debate. A strange beardless dwarf is arguing with one of the regulars.</div>
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"I tell you, a lich is down there," the dwarf exclaims.</div>
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"There's no lich in that castle, maybe a ghoul," an old man replies. </div>
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"A lich!"<br />
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"A GHOUL!"<br />
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"Let's ask the Ghoul Master," the dwarf says, "Avaric, could a ghoul survive down there?"<br />
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"Well, strictly speaking, no," the uniformed elf replies. "The biggest problem with ghouls is how dependent they are on a supply of fresh corpses. We use them as shock troops, but they are not very reliable. Start an assault, and they immediately run to the closest graveyard."<br />
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"So, it's not a ghoul," the dwarf says.<br />
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"Well, it ain't a lich, I can tell you that," replies the old man. "We should ask Archibald, he'd know."<br />
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From a corner you suddenly realize you never look into, a shimmering begins. The form of a once-corpulent, now quite dead man appears. His ancient robes hang moth-eaten over his shoulders. Tiny pin-pricks of light shine in his deep-set eye sockets. A voice from the depths of your worst nightmares begins to speak. Your skin crawls as Archibald begins...<br />
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"Nope, no lich in that castle," the lich begins, "I daresay I know every lich in Yem, and there was never one in that castle. I remember the days when that was a thriving way-station for traders headed north. Those were better days..."<br />
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"Aw, what does he know?" the dwarf exclaims. "What kind of lich hangs out in a bar all day, anyway?"<br />
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The black bolt of lightning strikes the dwarf before you realize what is happening. Everything goes black for a moment... When your vision returns, the bartender is sweeping up a pile of ash. You look desperately at the corner for an answer to your confusion, but see nothing but a table that has not been cleaned in months.<br />
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"Bartender," you say, "what happened to the man at that table?"<br />
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"Don't know what you're talking about friend," he replies, "finish your drink." He pours the ash from the dustpan into a large bottle, and sets it behind the bar.</div>
Darius Whiteplumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17950956139088139753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-52598781553469767462013-04-30T07:01:00.001-07:002013-04-30T07:01:32.420-07:00Our Stolen MugRecently the Great Run Mug of the Diggerbollox Clan was lost in a bar fight. Here is the epic song that was sung before the quest to retrieve it. <br />
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Far across the dirty alleys cold,<br />To basements deep and sewers old <br />We must away, without a hug <br />To find our just now stolen mug<br /><br />The Dwarves of yore, made a mighty mug,<br />While brewers brewed, their potent beer,<br />In places deep, where dragons sleep,<br />In ringing halls, we drank our cheer<br /><br />Our cousin drank, at the Fatal Wound,<br />He brought the mug, as was his right,<br />The humans craved, that mug of gold<br />They tugged his beard to start a fight<br /><br />The fists were flying right to the crotch, <br />The beer was pouring from the kegs, <br />The fight was great, with broken bones, <br />The chairs like hammers fell on legs.<br /><br />Far across the dirty alleys cold,<br />To basements deep and sewers old <br />We must away, without a hug <br />To find our just now stolen mug<br />Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-38188590058959301942013-04-26T10:02:00.001-07:002013-04-26T10:02:58.928-07:00One Year Anniversary!We started this campaign - and this blog - about a year ago, and while we haven't gotten a chance to play recently, it hasn't been for lack of trying.<br />
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In fond memoriam of original gangstas <a href="http://theridersoflohan.blogspot.com/2012/04/urist-handsomely-clueless.html">Urist Diggerbollox</a> and <a href="http://theridersoflohan.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-wanted-to-play-cleric.html">Pik the Acolyte</a>, I'd like to pour one out in contemplation of their short and poetic lives in the <a href="http://theridersoflohan.blogspot.com/2012/05/death-in-bowels-of-yem.html">bowels of Yem</a>. Thusly, I present their theme song:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/dxvDlDSiRLM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Urist's cousin Richter still lives on, and Yem's temple of the Blue Oyster Cult thrives (largely on the lucrative insurance returns of an army of dead acolytes). I hope this campaign (and blog) continue on for many more a year.koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-24950058048479275272013-01-22T18:55:00.001-08:002013-01-22T20:53:53.355-08:00Hireling Names<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">I'm convinced a good hireling name is one that instantly gives you everything you need to know about them just from their name. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">I took ten minutes and brainstormed a bunch for handy use in the vein of Scrap Princess's awesome name list <a href="http://monstermanualsewnfrompants.blogspot.com/2012/09/pictures-of-monsters-archetypes-lists.html" target="_blank">over here</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Of similarly awesome use is Ian's <a href="http://monstroustelevision.blogspot.com/2013/01/d100-psycho-combat-dialogue-table.html" target="_blank">recently posted list of things psychotic people will yell at you</a> pulled from the Borderlands game.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmIG57Kmdsh9Y3UNVfUNAZotLrp1PUDVE_1dEjB2Ixql7euMKiFPh9H1t5QTn9Lyg5gDp014ZIm-EC02NkvXYFxO92chDRmUNQLIDCT4Kn0QBy_xWVseLxp_QDSIk6KRwApzOHWIneu0_r/s1600/porter+3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmIG57Kmdsh9Y3UNVfUNAZotLrp1PUDVE_1dEjB2Ixql7euMKiFPh9H1t5QTn9Lyg5gDp014ZIm-EC02NkvXYFxO92chDRmUNQLIDCT4Kn0QBy_xWVseLxp_QDSIk6KRwApzOHWIneu0_r/s320/porter+3.jpeg" width="222" /></a></div>
<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Torchbearers:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Pig</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Old Mottley</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Huggert</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Li'l Zed</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Stinky</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Len Dumbass</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Stickfoot</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Nigel Sodpants</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Louse</span></li>
</ul>
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<br style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;" />
<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Men-(and women)-at-arms:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Droig</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Black Maggie</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Rufus</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Elonzo</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Vosh Vestra</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Angry Jenny</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Grumble Crumbles</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Beagelwitz</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Kur Bulgestein</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Gustvolt von Pike</span></li>
</ul>
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<br style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;" />
<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Veterans:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Bertha</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Van Duggen</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Grimes</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Eggers</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Gram Stabbo</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Reverend Slurry</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Sister Magdalena</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Gunt Whistler</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Packhorses (aka treasure carriers):</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Bob</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Gus</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Chronic</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Lazy Ned</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Mule</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Lefty</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Curtis</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Tunk</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Thieves:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Los Loster</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Midnight</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Jack Shadow</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Whisper</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Scuttles</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Sausage Fingers</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Silas the Glove</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Eliza Cabbage</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Magicians:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Delzor</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Voth the Mundane</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">El Hadazar</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">James Brown</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Casper Varley</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Carlito Maglioni</span></li>
</ul>
<br style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;" />
<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Dwarves:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Grim Grimmorson</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Podge</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Vargas</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Dirty Krodo</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Loambeard Stoutgut</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Unger Derpson</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">Frugal Sal</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Elves:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">"Doug" Silverspear</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Amaril</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Leandra</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Mute Fortha</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Beaumont</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Maple Maloney</span></li>
</ul>
<br style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;" />
<b style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Other:</b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Carnage the Wardog</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Drazzle (doppleganger)</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Handsome Jack (asshole Aasimar)</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">E. Lester Hicks, time traveler</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Puddin' (polymorphed ooze)</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Edit: Updated with some fun contributions from the G+ crowd.</span></span></div>
koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-90762434453579915502013-01-11T13:07:00.000-08:002013-01-11T14:38:25.316-08:00Mid-Level Starting Character Random Quirk Table<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOiOLGUCi7l-gG-jUPBwZBcVnpUm6s3WsyGj5GCROL4zEB1p-suhzccIVWKN1dE8oV8IZQn6eG_CXZSD_-ztjJAdMF_rzMGXU4tuBDSizJTMtb5KJ03fPW6Ps_M23VzUHwUk6xAVLsOxjE/s1600/brownies.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOiOLGUCi7l-gG-jUPBwZBcVnpUm6s3WsyGj5GCROL4zEB1p-suhzccIVWKN1dE8oV8IZQn6eG_CXZSD_-ztjJAdMF_rzMGXU4tuBDSizJTMtb5KJ03fPW6Ps_M23VzUHwUk6xAVLsOxjE/s320/brownies.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"What happened to <i>them</i>?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Good things, bad things, but most importantly </span><i style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">interesting</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"> things. Compiled with help from cool people on G+. It's a d50 table - you could just do the d100/subtract 50 if over 50 thing.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<ol style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px;">
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Has a cursed (but bonused) shield that cannot be taken off, making eating, sleeping, hugging, etc. difficult.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Two fingers once bitten off by a bullywug, including the family ring. The Bullywug got away.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Love/hate relationship with a pixie who has taken up residence in beard, hair or hat.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Somehow learned how to speak to oozes.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;">Spellbook has acquired intelligence, may require charisma rolls to convince it to let you learn spells.</span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Character has started growing vestigial wings. Can't wear plate mail (and has to have other armor adjusted), but can fly for level in rounds, after which exhausted.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Feet replaced by cloven hooves.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Always smells of cinnamon.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Looks exactly like famous prince/infamous baron.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Blood replaced by tiny insects after jaunt in Carcosa, terrified of insects.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Had renounced money - spends it as quickly as possible on insect themed totems for 'protection' (but really on any other grandiose project or odd addiction.)</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Former Henchwoman now assassin for one woman death cult - still friendly though.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Has an arrow stuck in their head. Removing the arrow would cause brain damage. No other effects.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Has acquired a touch of lycanthropy, body part may occasional become furry and violent.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Heterochromia (different colored eyes) -- one normal, and one with complete light blindness, but sees perfectly in dark/low-light settings. Now wears an eye-patch and switches it back and forth, depending on lighting. Depth perception is totally screwed up now and can't shoot worth a darn.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Touch of undeath - Brought to 0hp so many times the character can now be turned like the undead.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Has developed an awkward, and outwardly obvious twitch when around or discussing gold.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">IT BUUUURNS!: Was hit by green slime in the past and lived, but with horrible scarring. 1d6: (1-3 head/face, 4 torso, 5 arm, 6 leg)</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Papa/Mama?: Took in a kobold baby, now grown up. Treat as fanatically loyal henchman with kobold stats. Unless they learns the truth of what happened to their parents...</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">After years of dungeon crawling, has developed a taste for spider webs. Yes, eating them. </span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">After a chance encounter that nearly killed them, the character has become terrified of certain vegetables and fruit.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Was a living sacrifice, and had his heart ripped out by Lolth. Shortly after, his body was "liberated" and resurrected, but the Priestess still has his now-beating heart in a jar in her bedroom on a side table.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Starts uncontrollably itching under the armor when near poisonous traps and monsters.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Stalked: An invisible stalker has somehow become infatuated with the character. They won't attack the character directly, but will be hostile towards any who show affection towards the character.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><b>Magic Robot Hand. </b>What it says on the tin, partially translucent.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Teeth are filed to sharp points.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Tattoo in checkerboard pattern, all over.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Swallowed by a whale. Survived, but can now breathe underwater.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">PC only requires alcohol to satisfy nutritional and hydrational needs. Only alcohol satisfies these needs. PC still gets drunk at normal rate.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><b>Tinkerbell</b>: You can animate your shadow, but it doesn't always follow orders. </span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">You are the familiar for a wizard no one has seen for one thousand years. </span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Half a treasure map is tattooed on your back.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">You are a person transported from 21st century earth to the setting by mysterious means.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Pie In The Sky: Every week you go without a piece of pie, you lose a finger. Extra pie can help grow lost digits back...</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Your urine heals wounds. </span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Teeth can be pulled out and used as grenades. For each goblin you blast away, you travel another mile on the ugly road...</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Cool tail, bro.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Immune to fear because the voices in your head tell you not to worry. </span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">In complete darkness, your eyes shine like spotlights.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">There is a demon seed implanted in your chest. 1 in 6 chance direct blows to body damage the demon instead of you. </span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">You have a reputation as a great swordsman, wizard, whatever. Losers come crawling out of the woodwork to challenge you.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Your skin is green from radioactive stirge bites back at level one.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">You are covered with inexplicable scars, including bullet holes, sword cuts, claw marks, burns, frostbite discolorations, a Y shaped autopsy suture and inexplicably a suture completely encircling the neck - may actually be a Frankenstein.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Keeps trophies of slain monsters. Others terribly creeped out by collection of untanned goblin ears, dark elf scalps, fire beetle antenna, pixie skulls and giant rat tails. Of course the stinking mess is proudly displyed on your armor/clothes at all times.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Addicted to gambling, ogre gland extract and/or psychedelic cave lichen.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">You sold your soul to the devil in exchange for <i>something you have yet to claim</i>. He gets to call in the debt as soon as you complete the wishing. </span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">You own a magical horse, and can summon it with a whistle. It's pretty clever and brave, and can survive on its own without supervision when you send it off.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">The local cat community owes you one, and will help you out when it can. This is just housecats and the smaller wildcats, though, no lions or magical beasts.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">You now age backwards at twice the natural rate. If you don't get magically aged you'll have to give up adventuring very quickly.</span></span></li>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;">Due to transdimensional mind-shift, you actually DO know everything your player knows. </span></span></li>
</ol>
koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-87430360137029825832012-12-08T18:21:00.002-08:002012-12-08T18:21:17.122-08:00In the Halls of The Dread PrinceDesiring some amusement, and perhaps a thinning of the adventuring herd, The Dread Prince, ruler of the land of Yem, has summoned The Riders of Lohan to his royal pressence. To what end? A simple task. One so simple you would think any of his army could accomplish it, but when you live eternally you need all the entertainment you can get, and what better entertainment is their than convincing some warm-fleshies to go on a dangerous mission with no promise of reward?<br />
<br />
So, off to the library... an ancient place with no apparent name; at least not one that was discovered. Fortunately, The Dread Prince said nothing about not looting the library, nor about taking a cut (perhaps the tax man will have something to say there).<br />
<br />
Ultimately, here is the experience and gold breakdown per character:<br />
<br />
Total gold split: 42,000gp<br />
Total fighting experience split: 59xp<br />
Total XP: 42,059xp each<br />
<br />
Sadly, you can only gain one level at a time, so much of this xp will go to waste, but money is money, eh?<br />
<br />
Itemized bill of sale:<br />
<br />
Treasure<br />
<br />
12,000ep (6000gp)<br />
15 pieces of jewelry, 162,000gp total<br />
2 potions, healing and invisibility<br />
scroll of knock<br />
ring of invisibility (went to John)<br />
<br />
gp total: 168,000<br />
<br />
split: 42,000gp<br />
<br />
Experience<br />
<br />
Enemy party<br />
* Dwarf (1) - 5<br />
* Halfling (1) - 5<br />
* Thief (1) - 5<br />
* Cleric (1) - 5<br />
* Magic-user, level 3 (Dr. Peabody) (3**) - 50<br />
<br />
XP: 70<br />
<br />
3D Portal<br />
* Elf (1+1*) - 19<br />
<br />
XP: 19<br />
<br />
Library<br />
* Crab Spider (2*) - 25<br />
* Medusa librarian (4*) - 125<br />
<br />
XP: 150<br />
<br />
Total: 239xp<br />
Split: 59<br />
<br />
XP Total: 42,059Darius Whiteplumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17950956139088139753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-5544846094423214712012-12-01T16:47:00.000-08:002012-12-01T16:47:06.529-08:00Vampires can Suck It, right?We finished the Sequestrium of Transformative Incantations this evening!<br />
<br />
Bill the Mauler and Mindark the Wise hired three more unsuspecting dupes to venture into the clusterfuck up in the Tower of Unfathomable Secrets, only to encounter Ghosts, Doppleglimmers, Werewolves and Vampires (oh my!).<br />
<br />
Let it be known that the fell creature known as Magus Otto Von Brisbane and his vicious concubines met their end in the master tower on this date, Brisbane himself skewered through the heart by a gold Varsguard cross, and Mindark the Wise now possesses his arcane secrets as well as his Robe of Eyes. Bill the Mauler now possesses a headache and a lingering feeling of guilt over trying to kill his ex-Stripper henchwoman "Jersey" Caramel while dominated.<br />
<br />
Here's my master map, all secrets revealed:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRabY5XVlGIo4wYO9mvwJ9dN5F7fu_KaYP8tkQ-_InPmQQyYPJFn7FqwHd2cupRfgshKDIv6cm8e50nqKwd1zd57o9eeAVF2c2xlTI6kquTR1YZ7Yj9izrvtPMzizzXXL8miEJ4TvUvWU-/s1600/Sequestrium.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRabY5XVlGIo4wYO9mvwJ9dN5F7fu_KaYP8tkQ-_InPmQQyYPJFn7FqwHd2cupRfgshKDIv6cm8e50nqKwd1zd57o9eeAVF2c2xlTI6kquTR1YZ7Yj9izrvtPMzizzXXL8miEJ4TvUvWU-/s320/Sequestrium.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<br />koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-25949384753465116542012-11-03T15:41:00.000-07:002012-11-03T15:47:15.528-07:00The Sequestrium of Transformative IncantationsMindark the Wise (Wisdom: 4), magician and thumb-separator, has decided to try this whole "Adventuring" thing on for size and has managed to convince Bill the Mauler to help him clean out a wing of the Tower of Unfathomable Secrets known as <i>The Sequestrium of Transformative Incantations</i> or more colloquially "that clusterfuck of towers there on the left".<br />
<br />
Rumor has it that old Magus Otto Von Brisbane is holed up in there somewhere but according to the mad mage Doug Douglason he's "never been quite the same since he started eating human flesh". Nonetheless the council of wizards has promised Mindark that if they manage to find him they'll finally teach him how to cast Read Magic.<br />
<br />
Here's where they've explored so far:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJJCGTF7CjyxSJ9bPzelLrqOWrM3EY-evYIZuWvW6sQYQiZoBqbJJ4FwsvteBfVX7_DLEHHUd-1PfV2cMEy10HyNNMacbvrs-JQkyurySpFF7lEXTRKIOPdYGvRpZDW0-kyILtA72uVHRi/s1600/STI_MapSoFar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJJCGTF7CjyxSJ9bPzelLrqOWrM3EY-evYIZuWvW6sQYQiZoBqbJJ4FwsvteBfVX7_DLEHHUd-1PfV2cMEy10HyNNMacbvrs-JQkyurySpFF7lEXTRKIOPdYGvRpZDW0-kyILtA72uVHRi/s320/STI_MapSoFar.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
Hireling Vladimir Putin got his head bitten off by a massive Tarantella Spider in the north tower but otherwise there's been a significant haul from the Sequestrium so far, including a spellbook with Mirror Image and Magic Missile, as well as three scrolls and a magic dagger and some 1500 gold pieces.<br />
<br />
<b>Edit:</b> A lucky roll on my Narrative Critical Hit table has resulting in Mindark also acquiring a dagger coated in Tarantella poison, which promises potential entertainment at parties and nightclub fights.koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-43718177768955474522012-10-19T10:53:00.001-07:002012-10-19T10:53:39.297-07:00Followers of the Twisted GearIt is a mistake to think that all Dwarves act alike. Sure, most of the Dwarves you meet will love to mine, have a fondness for gold and would happily spend entire lifetimes digging, finding secret doors and collecting gold. That is because the other kind of Dwarves don’t hang out in bars and mines. They are too busy making really weird shit.<br /><br />They call themselves the Followers of the Twisted Gear. These Dwarves have left their homes in search of something more intellectual than digging and mining. Many times their numbers include adolescent Dwarves who are rebelling against the old ways. They have shave their beards in an act of defiance for the old ways and instead let their hair grow to ridiculous heights; often using the blood of others for their hair gel. They pierce their skin with gears and tools. The Followers of the Twisted Gear is a refuge for Dwarves of a Chaotic alignment.<br /><br />And what do these Twisted Gear Dwarves do? They invent. They seek out dark places of wicked evil to absorb inspiration. They lurk in infamous tombs. They have long drinking parties in cursed cemeteries. They squat in abandoned hideouts of long dead villains. Anywhere that evil once reigned; the Followers of the Twisted Gear will take residence for inspiration.<br /><br />In time, one Dwarf will get an inspiration. He will develop a mania to build a great device. The device is almost always made from the remains of living creatures and these devices are often mistaken as tools of necromancers. Sometimes living creatures are trapped in the devices as if their very suffering is part of the mechanism. These manic Dwarves will incorporate magic and technology in strange hybrid manners that <br /><br />The purpose of the device vary from creation to creation. They rarely create something practical as that is too much like the normal Dwarves that they scorn. No, the Followers of the Twisted Gear might make a mirror that shows you random events across time and space. They might make a ship that travels through underwater but it never stops traveling; condemning the passengers to eternal wondering. Or they might make a pair of pointy shoes that bestows any effect on the potion table every time you put them on. <br /><br />Dwarves of the Twisted Gear will have the same stats and organization of normal Dwarves in your campaign. Despite their desire to be different, some habits are just hard to break. Each lair of the Followers will have D3 random devices that are each unique in the world. <br />Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-66349641431165331232012-09-20T12:16:00.002-07:002012-09-20T12:16:53.600-07:00Barbaric MathAfter a two week delay, I have finally had enough peace of mind to do some party math.<br />
<br />
The players received 315 gold pieces each. Filling in the fog of the map doesn't pay much.<br />
<br />
Because the experience points was split three ways between the survivors, the exp is 143. Kind of measly but dungeoning ain't easy.<br />
<br />
<br />Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-25781543122415318582012-09-10T11:00:00.003-07:002012-09-10T11:34:16.149-07:00Axe-Boots of Door Kicking<i>Often found in the occasional Dwarven tomb buried with those warriors who subscribed to this unusual fashion trend, Axe-boots of Door Kicking are a rather garish accessory designed for those who have a particular loathing for wooden doors of all types. Though not often prone to dancing, the dwarves of the Diggerbollox clan at one point developed a peculiar type of partner dance using these axe-boots that required a modicum of grace and skill in order not to prove fatal for bystanders.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg87hXq7iDpqITtOyRB_3k3-WbLcMvuXpn5FwrrEIvhKUkMONLx-1o-7WE-MB4XaxKpf3B1s25pGUtqwJU0x_7hXivynkeSPEc6lUSH0eSeYHjUt8MDxKsVVGMAl-B3knSvfupjaLrCeRxe/s1600/axeboots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg87hXq7iDpqITtOyRB_3k3-WbLcMvuXpn5FwrrEIvhKUkMONLx-1o-7WE-MB4XaxKpf3B1s25pGUtqwJU0x_7hXivynkeSPEc6lUSH0eSeYHjUt8MDxKsVVGMAl-B3knSvfupjaLrCeRxe/s320/axeboots.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
In Basic D&D, it requires a 1 or 2 rolled on a d6 to force open a stuck door (which tends to be most of them). Wearing Axe-Boots automatically increases that chance to 1 through 4, strength bonuses/penalties applying (though still no greater than 1-5). What's more, the door is destroyed and no longer prevents passage until repaired, making for easier flight from the dungeon if needed (though also easier for those chasing).<br />
<br />
However, on a 6, the kicking character does not in fact manage to break the door, and their boot is stuck at kicking level, making things awkward, especially if a creature, hearing something, decides to open it from the other side. It takes a least a round to pull the foot free from the door.<br />
<br />
Other disadvantages to wearing Axe-Boots might be easy trackability, slower speed, occasionally challenged to dwarven dance-offs, and the potential for inadvertant haircuts or decapitations when the Axe-Boot wearer is drunkenly swinging from chandeliers.<br />
<br />
If a pair of Axe-Boots are found, there is a chance they are magical, consult the chart below:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>A normal, mundane pair of Axe-Boots.</li>
<li>A normal pair of Axe-Boots, except with heels.</li>
<li>These Axe-Boots are fucking fabulous.</li>
<li>These Platform Axe-Boots add 6 inches of height to the wearer, as well as increased pimpitude.</li>
<li>The rare alternate, a pair of Hammer-Boots. Wearer can always be heard coming on all but the softest ground, but Hammer-Boots work on stone doors as well as wooden.</li>
<li>These Axe-Boots are specially engineered for groin kicks and can be used as a 1d6-damaging weapon if a week is spent practicing with them, doing triple damage on criticals against sensitive-groin-possessing enemies.</li>
<li>These Axe-Boots have a minor enchantment to enhance the dancing of the wearer - Any dancing they perform will be of such consummate skill as to impress all observers, however there is a 10% chance that any combat will be interpreted by the boots as an excuse to start dancing.</li>
<li>These Axe-Boots work as +1 weapons, as listed as above, and are considered highly valuable.</li>
<li>If worn by a non-dwarf, these cursed Axe-Boots cannot be taken off, and unless remove Curse is cast, in one week the wearer will gradually turn into a dwarf with an overwhelming hatred of all wooden doors everywhere. If worn by a dwarf, they function as regular +1 Axe-Boots.</li>
<li>Axe-Boots of Portalmancy. There is a 5% chance that these Axe-Boots, when destroying a door, opens a 2-way teleportation portal (on a 1-2) to the entrance of the dungeon, (on a 3-4) to the nearest town or city, (on a 5) to a random door on the next level of the dungeon, if there is one, (on a 6) directly to the most powerful creature in the dungeon, though surprise chance is doubled. The portal lasts for one hour.</li>
</ol>
koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-54585013420638022412012-08-27T09:10:00.002-07:002012-08-27T09:10:54.850-07:00Level 1 So FarOne night Bill starts drinking and a friendly scribe begins making a map of the adventures that have been had so far in the "Croney Pit of Goblin Genital Mutilation"<br />
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<br />Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-52751600758068529162012-08-26T10:24:00.000-07:002012-08-26T10:25:56.222-07:00A Report to the Tower of SecretsI would like to thank the Tower of Secrets for assigning me this interesting problem. I am glad to have earned a chance to redeem myself after the unfortunate outbreak of Black Pudding that I most likely had something to do with.<br /><br />For those of you that have been busy working on your potions, scrolls or Black Pudding fighting, I shall inform you of the strange occurrence of magic that happened this past Thursday.<br /><br />According to a one handed barmaid at the Coffin Nail, two adventurers were sitting at a table with their new henchmen. Of the adventurers, one of them was a cleric of the Blue Oyster by the name of Imadead and other was the mage, Pepto. <br /><br />Of the henchmen, one was a lowly ratcatcher while the second was the dread dog, Murder. I recommend that everyone read Asiton the Shaking’s account of the Massacre of the Kobold Warren for more information about that grim beast.<br /><br />
Back to the magical incident. The two adventurers, the henchman and the abomination of nature were sitting at their table when a yellow wind pushed through the tavern doors. The yellow wind was filled with sand and blinded every one at the bar. When the wind was gone, so was the table of adventurers!<br />
<br />
Curiously, in their place was a worn sleeping bag. It was identified as belonging to Sbijjin the Warrior, who disappeared one year ago on a quest to explore the Tomb That We Do Not Name #5.<br />
<br />
An hour later, at the Coffin Nail, another mage by the name of Balduric came in for a drink. He sat at the bar and had a mug of the house ale. Once again a yellow wind came in and blinded everyone. When the wind was gone, so was Balduric. Sitting in his place was a thief by the name of Marva or Murva; accounts differ on her name. The thief however was dead as if dropped from a height of twenty feet. Curiously, she was already looted.<br />
<br />
The thief had been missing for a week; last seen entering the Tomb That We Do Not Name #5 with a fighter named Bill the Mauler.<br />
<br />
Late that night, a group of adventurers loaded with treasure came in. Among their numbers were Bill, Pepto, Balduric and Murder. Bill the Mauler explained while bouncing the one-handed barmaid on his knee that the thief, the cleric and their henchmen had died. He also explained that various members of their party appeared in the dungeon right after they had taken losses.<br />
<br />
Fellow wizards, I have a radical theory that may explain these strange teleports. As we all know, the Tomb That We Do Not Name #5 has been around for quite a few ages. We have been unable to get an accurate date for its construction due to the well documented effect the place has on wizards. It has been there forever and it may still be there when we are all Black Puddings.<br />
<br />
My theory is this; perhaps the forces of Destiny want this cursed place plundered. As the great Gaxx once theorized; mysterious places underground exist to be conquered. The incredible longevity of this forsaken place is simply unnatural. Some hero should have plundered it by now and returned with treasures beyond imagining. Instead, the Tomb That We Do Not Name #5 just keeps killing adventurers.<br />
<br />
I propose that the yellow wind is the hand of destiny. We all now that the surviving Gods are too weak to care about one dungeon of despair but Destiny may not. Perhaps it is destined that a group of heroes will break this horrible abode and when a party takes casualties, the hand of Destiny restocks their numbers. Destiny itself wants this terrible tomb destroyed and Destiny will alter reality to make it happen. <br />
<br />
It is my hopes that my Wind of Destiny theory could be funded for further research. It is also my hope that this paper will encourage the Tower of Secrets to get me out of Black Pudding Removal Duty. <br />
<br />
~~~~~~Deppix of the Club Foot.Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-16754868735209994912012-08-25T13:35:00.001-07:002012-08-25T13:35:44.710-07:00Generous Math<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZVN4cSD6XzQCCxyyy2q6uLffxT1drVcis12OpuHGx6RrdyYu4MHeB6B3OaFyBK2mFXxZP8fHrH5geRKgAdPEfs_xC4wC7p0TPSGsKPg-btrrtRz7qqj-6En-L6VUxXxOkrkwku4AozbGK/s1600/treasurechest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZVN4cSD6XzQCCxyyy2q6uLffxT1drVcis12OpuHGx6RrdyYu4MHeB6B3OaFyBK2mFXxZP8fHrH5geRKgAdPEfs_xC4wC7p0TPSGsKPg-btrrtRz7qqj-6En-L6VUxXxOkrkwku4AozbGK/s1600/treasurechest.jpg" /></a>The brave heroes finally emerge from the Tomb of the Blasphemy of Flowers. They oddly came out with more people then they went in with.<br />
<br />
Bill, Pepto, Balduric and Murder come out a crap load of treasure. There is a spellbook, some boots of leaping and assorted other treasure. The treasure, split three ways come out to boggling 1,928 gold pieces <i>each</i>.<br />
<br />
Experience points wise, you got to split the experience of monsters and treasure with the carnivorous Murder. This comes out to 1604 experience points each. <br />
<br />
Dude, maybe some of the Riders of Lohan should retire now.Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-60788800238333656242012-08-19T07:12:00.000-07:002012-08-19T07:12:12.972-07:00MIA: One Adventuring PartyIt has been a week since Bill the Fighter, Marva the Theif and their henchmen, Yor the Fisherman went down into the Croney Pit of Goblin Genital Mutilation. They did not return that day. The Crone came back to the Coffin Nail and has been seeking new recruits. <br />
<br />
But what happened to our fearless heroes? All sorts of crap including a trap that made them lose a week of their lives without even noticing. Well, the henchman that starved to death certainly noticed. Now the party is deep in the dungeon with no rations and down to 2 people. Ouch.<br />
<br />
They have amassed quite a bit of treasure. Sadly, Dungeons and Dragons only gives you credit for treasure if you get back out of the dungeon. They only get experience for what they have defeated/killed/tricked to go into the starving room.<br />
<br />
Bill and Marva have earned 184 experience points to be split 2 ways for a total of 92 exp. Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-70529221808689264432012-08-15T05:24:00.000-07:002012-08-15T05:24:25.791-07:00Podcast #3No introduction this time, so a quick bit. Somehow my language got a bit coarse this time around, so fair warning. Also, Goblin Gimp Riders and a guy stuck in a hole. Intro music by <a href="http://www.myspace.com/cheesepeopleband">The Cheese People</a>, and the outro by Manfred Hubler and Siegfried Schwab ("The Lion and the Cucumber" from <i>Vampyros Lesbos</i>).<br />
<br />
This time around it was Bill the Mauler (Darius Whiteplume) and Marva the Thief (Joe Tortuga) descending further into the Croney Pit of Goblin Genital Mutilation.<br />
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To listen, follow <a href="http://adventuresinnerdliness.net/podcast/ridersoflohan.html">this link</a>!</h2>
Darius Whiteplumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17950956139088139753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-26003463113004841242012-07-18T13:30:00.005-07:002012-07-18T13:32:32.341-07:00Surviving The Dungeon, Expeditiously<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/DFhUsXXFqlM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
This week's question: How high should a wizard hike up their skirt when fleeing for their life?<br />
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(roll 1d6)<br />
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<ol>
<li><b>Knee-level.</b> You've only got to outrun the fighter, who is wearing full-plate anyway so he can soak a hit or two before going down, right?</li>
<li><b>Thigh-high.</b> This provides a solid maneuverability for kicking down obstacle doors that might be in your way. There's already Stars and Moons on your robes, so a little extra flash of moon isn't going to be noticeable.</li>
<li><b>Waist-high.</b> Pursuers may have to roll a saving throw vs. Death Ray/Poison, depending on hygiene or dungeon diet.</li>
<li><b>Can't actually bend over to grab a hem.</b> Oh wait, that's the player, not the player character.</li>
<li><b>Creative Use of a Floating Disc spell.</b> Put some Juice in your Caboose. Choo-choo noises optional.</li>
<li><b>The Drawer-Dropper.</b> For the truly desperate, this technique has only paid off once when Izridian the Invoker kept his spare spell components someplace "extra safe" and the pursuing flailsnail had a reaction to his Mystic Bathsalts.</li>
</ol>koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-42453770326697738032012-07-13T06:20:00.000-07:002012-07-13T07:05:29.461-07:00Podcast #2The continuing adventure of the Riders of Lohan brings them back to The Blasphemy of Flowers. If you missed the first episode, it can be found at the same link below.<br />
<br />
Our DM this time is Shon Richards, and our cast of Player Characters is:<br />
<ul>
<li>Pepto the Abysmal, 1st level Magic-User (<a href="https://twitter.com/koboldstyle">Kirin</a>)</li>
<li>Bill the Mauler, 1st level Fighter (<a href="https://twitter.com/d_whiteplume">Darius Whiteplume</a>)</li>
<li>Ernest, the past-his-prime Fighter (NPC) </li>
<li>Raz, the outlaw mage (NPC)</li>
</ul>
Hope you enjoy it, and feel free to comment below! <br />
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To listen, follow <a href="http://adventuresinnerdliness.net/podcast/ridersoflohan.html">this link</a>!</h2>Darius Whiteplumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17950956139088139753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-27044976111739773362012-07-10T16:18:00.001-07:002012-07-10T16:18:48.005-07:00Ye Olde Coffin Nail<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Every adventurer needs to know where the local "find an adventure and hire henchmen" tavern is. In our version of Yem, that tavern is Ye Olde Coffin Nail.<br />
<br />
The name comes from Yem's tendency to have necromancers and undead running around. Likely the original owner thought it would attract upscale magi business, but today the place has become a dive bar full of used up adventurers, newly minted adventurers, and at least one amputee bar wench. Thus far all of our characters have begun their careers (such as they were) at "The Nail" and certainly many more will follow.<br />
<br />
So, by all means, stop by for a warm beer and perhaps a cold woman. A warning though, if an old crone comes to hire you, ignore her...Darius Whiteplumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17950956139088139753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-17909999906785460552012-07-10T11:12:00.000-07:002012-07-10T11:12:06.866-07:00Let's do Math!Last night, the party of Bill the Mauler and Pepto the Abysmal returned with four sacks of full of treasure. They also decimated the population of a goblin hideout and crisped some skeletons. They lost two henchmen in the process and ran like hell from some Dire Wolf pups. How much experience did they earn?<br />
<br />
Basic Dungeons and Dragons has a chart for that! Let's break down what they killed and accomplished, and then figure out their experience points.<br />
<br />
They killed a Snowman, which has similar stats to a zombie with 2 Hit Dice. The Basic D&D Experience chart rates monsters by their Hit Dice. The Snowman is worth 20 xp.<br />
<br />
There was some sort of trap up ahead. Bricks had been circled in the floor and the crushed remains of human life had them suspicious. The party used the last foot of a living statue that someone had killed as test weight. They threw the foot at a circle and the ceiling came down and pulverized it. The party now feels safer and more confident. How much exp do they get? For figuring out a trap, in Basic Dungeons and Dragons, they get nothing. <b>Nothing. </b><br />
<br />
There was a pit with skeletons in it. Pepto decided to go down and look. The skeletons animated and Pepto's friends pulled him up. They then used some oil and burned the 9 skeletons. At one HD each, they are worth 10 exp each for a total of 90.<br />
<br />
The party encounters two giant shrews. The shrews wound an henchmen before dying. At 1 HD each, they are worth 10 exp each for a total of 20.<br />
<br />
The fearless party encounters some goblins. They kill 3 who are tormenting a Pixie. The Goblins have 1HD minus 1 Hp, which counts for 5 exp each. How much do they get for freeing the Pixie and befirending it? According to the rules, <b>nothing. </b>The goblins did have 12 electrum though.<b><br /></b><br />
<br />
The party encounters 4 more goblins and slay them for a total of 20exp. The goblins also had 20 electrum.<br />
<br />
The party losses a henchmen at this point when he taste tests a foul smelling vault. He dies of poison. <br />
<br />
The party encounters a Goblin and 4 Dire Wolf Pups. The party tries to bullshit their way through but the goblin, who might be smarter than them, offers to take a bribe rather than fight. They pay him with the electrum they have collected so far, which means they don't get to count the electrum as exp later. <br />
<br />
How much do you get for a peaceful resolution? The Basic Rules suggest full exp for monsters defeated by "fighting, magic or wits" so I will give them full exp. Just not right now for reasons you will see in a bit.<br />
<br />
The party then meets a brining pit where dead humans are being prepared for eating. Party is grossed out but no exp is awarded.<br />
<br />
The party wiselyy avoids the soound of a large group of goblins partying and head towards the quiet tunnel. There they encounter 2 Goblin Guards and slay them. The Guards are slightly tougher at 2 HD each, for a total of 40 xp.<br />
<br />
The Goblin Guards are guarding a vault with 2000 electrum pieces, 9720 copper pieces and 6,200 silver pieces. Since the party of three can only haul so much, they take all the electrum pieces. That means all the copper and silver is NOT added to experience even though they got to touch it.<br />
<br />
On the way back, the Giblin and his 4 pups are horrified to see the players he let bribe him are leaving with the treasure from the vault. Everyone tries to haggle and I roll a 2 on the NPC reaction chart which is "Immediate Attack" With their 7 charisma each, the party really has nothing to complain about.<br />
<br />
Fighting breaks out and the goblin dies quick and gives up his 5 xp. The pups however rip apart the henchman and the two players wisely decide to run away. They get no exp for escaping the pups even though Pepto cast a light spell at the eyes of one.<br />
<br />
So, 20 xp for snowman, 90 for the skeletons, 20 for the shrews, 40 for various goblins and 40 for the 2 goblin guards for a total of 210 exp. They also get a one for one experience point for every gold piece of treasure which nets them a cool 1000 exp for their electrum.<br />
<br />
Check that out. Killing, slaying and outwitting got the party 210 exp, split two ways. That is it. The treasure however, got them a nice 1000 split two ways. By my math, they get 605 experience each. <br />
<br />
Obviously D&D has some wiggle room for adding extra exp whenever the DM feels like it and I plan to give 20 exp for smashing that foot because it was freaking funny. Still, it is hard to ignore that by the rules, reducing the Goblin population doesn't mean nearly as much as robbing them. No wonder Wall Street loves money so much, it is the best way to get experience.<br />
<br />
One last note, if the henchmen had survived, the exp would be split 4 ways. Makes you understand why henchmen rarely survive.<br />
<br />
<br />
Shon Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575804400275943927noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-74351881848981435152012-07-10T05:58:00.000-07:002012-07-10T05:58:10.436-07:00Damn, It Feels Good to be a 2nd Level Gangsta<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6y3sxi4bm1qzb1rlo1_500.jpg"><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6y3sxi4bm1qzb1rlo1_500.jpg" style="float: right; margin-bottom: 0.5cm; margin-left: 0.5cm; width: 175px;" /></a>Last night's assault on the <i>Croney-Pit of Goblin Genital Mutilation</i> was a tough one. We lost Ernest the Drunken Door Opener, which was not pleasant, and Ras the Outlaw Mage to his own stupidity. Fortunately, the Lohanites all survived, and I reached 2nd level. I now have 12 hit points, which is four-times what I had prior. Sadly, you get little else with second level, save a new title. The ability to withstand two hits is worth the wait.<br />
<br />
If you need me, I'll be at the Coffin Nail, mackin' on the one-handed serving wench.Darius Whiteplumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17950956139088139753noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-64145663889838984582012-07-06T07:03:00.001-07:002012-07-06T07:29:18.107-07:00Marva Asks Questions<b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Getting to Yem was easy with that snotty Halfling’s money. Marva knew she wouldn’t have made it at all with what he was paying, but she borrowed a bit more from him for the trip. Still it was about out, now, so she asked around where she could get some work, and that’s why she was darkening the door at “Ye Olde Coffine Naile” or something like that.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Still, what’s a good thief to do, but steal a few purses ask a few questions, and maybe have some fun in the process? Marva asked around a bit to see if anyone had work or knew where the snotty Halfling’s son was. With a flash of <strike>her boobs</strike>Charisma, she found out: (roll d20):</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b><br />
<ol style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harry died when the dragon that lives on the giant tower uptown breathed on him and roasted him (and his plate armor) like a meat potato.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harry was seen consorting with Blue Oyster Cultists, and they “don’t fear the reaper”, if you know what I mean.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harry has a magic bow that he used to set a tavern in the dock district on fire.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After trying to steal secrets from the Tower of Despicable and Unknowale Secrets, Harry was transformed into a miniature giant space hamster.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If I buy you a drink, will you come back to my place?</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harry was last seen going out of town with a Fighter, a Hag, and some wimpy dude in a dress.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Oh, sorry old and mysterious Wizard!</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He was hired by ruffians from the dock district to unlock a warehouse treasure chest, even though he insisted he was “Not a Burglar.”</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harry sleeps with the fishes now. Probably at the Blue Oyster Cult Headquarters.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He was caught cheating at BINGO, and now the Ancient Order of B-5 is after him, so he skipped town.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hear he met a female gnome and they’re shacked up in the city park.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I heard it was a male gnome!</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I heard he entered an ancient deadly dungeon and was killed by a goblin wielding a magic axe in the shape of fish.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A couple of bill collectors came in for him a few days ago, I suspect they broke his legs and stole his bow.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The ghosts of all the cultists who died while he was with them were haunting him so he went to Sister Mary’s House of Prayer and Prostitution to hide from them.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sister Mary’s has the best not-quite-vestal-virgins in town; you could probably work there.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I heard he changed his name to “The Darkness” because some wizard cast magic missile at him.</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That’s him over there! Ha made you look!</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He’s crashed out back at my place, why don’t we go there and look for the Halfling?</span></b></li>
<li style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; list-style-type: decimal; vertical-align: baseline;"><b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hey, look, those are the guys he went to that dungeon with!</span></b></li>
</ol>
<div>
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div>
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">To find out what really happened to Harry Barefoot, listen to our <a href="http://theridersoflohan.blogspot.com/2012/07/podcast-1.html">podcast</a>!</span></span></b></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749992766425882600noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-57364551594341673202012-07-06T06:38:00.002-07:002012-07-06T07:29:34.136-07:00Marva Gets Hired<b id="internal-source-marker_0.48085787100717425" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harold Barefoot, Sr (of the Bigglesfoot Barefeet) took another sip of his pint of ale (they sold it in pints!), and glanced around the bar. The word amongst his employees was that this was the place to go to find a particular kind of person who could do particular kinds of things, and he was looking for the right person. He had to send someone to that vile place, the Island of Yem, to find his son, and bring him home.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For starters, the rather large bag of gold, stamped with a multi-legged (and beautifully blue) crustacean had been more than enough to cover the refund that Harry had given the Suckston-Barefeet. The other problem, though, was the note from his son.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear Father,</span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You should be receiving monies from a group known as the Scions of the Cerulean Shrimp. I’ve contracted with them to do a bit of information gathering and (potentially) industrial espionage on the Isle of Yem. I directed them to send you the payment for the information I’m supplying them, as my current activities require the funds I’m getting locally.</span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On the other hand, I’ve sharpened my bow skills somewhat, and after slaying an evil Wizard (is there any other kind?) I have a nice new magic bow, that, while I’m sure it would settle our debt, is more useful to me in my current endeavors.</span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We’ve just contracted with someone to retrieve a small statue from a remote location, the payment of which is obsene even by your standards. Once I’ve done that, I hope to return to my family in Bigglesfoot, and invest the money wisely,</span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Many happy returns (at least 12%, if you know what I mean)</span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Your, son, Harry Barefoot</span></b></blockquote>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He’d crumpled the note when he’d seen it the first time, but smoothed it out afterwards. His son was doing the work of a commoner! Delving into places and retreiving things, shooting evil Wizards! That was work for the militia, or hirelings at least! It was time to retrieve the boy, and for that he needed help. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Probably from the militia, or a hireling at least.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He took a sip from his pint, and a tall, thin (yet still good-looking) redhead sat down across from him. “Hiya, hot stuff,” she said. “How’s it hanging?”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harold Barefoot thought about excusing himself, but he’d been in the bar for several hours and she was the first one to approach him for work. He took a bigger sip of his ale, and started to tell the human what he wanted.</span></b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15749992766425882600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-82674276403971145202012-07-06T05:03:00.001-07:002012-07-13T06:20:43.162-07:00Podcast #1So, we tried something new this time; recording our session so that you could listen in. Maybe you are not familiar with Basic D&D, or just want to hear what we sound like... Maybe your are hankering for a Total Party Kill? Either way, brave the auditory bowels of the Island of Yem in the mystical world of Uresia, and listen with rapt attention as The Riders of Lohan sally forth to right wrongs... or more likely to search for loot!<br />
<br />
Our DM this time is Shon Richards, and our cast of Player Characters is:<br />
<ul>
<li>Harry Barefoot, 1st level Halfling (<a href="https://twitter.com/JoeTortuga">Joe Tortuga</a>)</li>
<li>Bill the Mauler, 1st level Fighter (<a href="https://twitter.com/d_whiteplume">Darius Whiteplume</a>)</li>
<li>And fresh from the box, Pepto the Abysmal, 1st level Magic-User (<a href="https://twitter.com/koboldstyle">Kirin</a>)</li>
<li>Homes the Incontinent, NPC of negligible class/level</li>
</ul>
I added a bit of an introduction, and some swanky music from the D&D arcade game, <i>Shadow Over Mystara</i>, also there is a bit of a treat at the very end. Hope you enjoy it, and feel free to comment below!<br />
<br />
<h2 style="font-size: 16pt;">
To listen, follow <a href="http://adventuresinnerdliness.net/podcast/ridersoflohan.html">this link</a>!</h2>Darius Whiteplumehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17950956139088139753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2764227247545245216.post-36948358389990387662012-07-03T15:42:00.004-07:002012-07-03T15:52:42.998-07:00One Fine Evening Down at the Local Watering Hole<h2>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcPNi_Ew5Nk0aIQTrj6g9FBW25WmhYiKM8TVEXJjRUAngkUtu9S5Lk4qHy4ciXORaFD_JeQosuzhKGX1LAJnthAmFZE8WUottzXqTzjSl87AIoVUneg8XSXHMWPA-elhrjv8wTA9Vurt6r/s1600/tumblr_liapkaTjTY1qhauifo5_r1_400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcPNi_Ew5Nk0aIQTrj6g9FBW25WmhYiKM8TVEXJjRUAngkUtu9S5Lk4qHy4ciXORaFD_JeQosuzhKGX1LAJnthAmFZE8WUottzXqTzjSl87AIoVUneg8XSXHMWPA-elhrjv8wTA9Vurt6r/s1600/tumblr_liapkaTjTY1qhauifo5_r1_400.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Acid Reflux is a Bitch</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</h2>
<i style="background-color: white;">As told by Pepto the Abysmal, first level Magic-User, Medium of the Light</i><br />
<br />
I'm an old man and I've had a boring life. it's taken me 50-some years to learn one single spell, and in that time someone invented something called a Lantern that does the same thing. I'm not bitter. Really I'm not.<br />
<br />
Lately I've been wandering down to the Old Coffin Nail, which is what passes for your standard wretched hive of scum and villainy here in Yem, commonly known as the local Adventurer's Tavern. Necromancy is seen as a favored local pastime here in the city, along the lines of Football or Gay Pride Parades. In fact the last time we had a zombie outbreak here people set up lawn chairs out on main street and clapped and waved flags. So you could say we have a pretty easy-going attitude about death - or at least that's what those Blue Öyster evangelists keep telling us we <i>should</i> have.<br />
<br />
Fine with me, like I said, I've had a boring life. At least these adventuring types have seen an interesting thing or two. I sat down at a table with a pair of rough-and-tumble-looking fellas, <b>Bill the Mauler</b> and <b>Harry Barefoot</b> the Halfling. At least I think he's a halfling, but it's hard to tell if there's a halfling inside all that plate mail armor, he sort of looks like an ash can stove with hairy feet. They were sitting around and drinking and celebrating their recent defeat of a local upstart religion - something to do with that big explosion on the docks this week - and gloating about having gotten some sweet new magical weapons. Well, I've got a magic weapon too. It's a 25 pound spellbook with one obsolete spell in it.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDtbkPwlDrUUtGYnH40lNqP35Adat5u9rQaIwDVf0sCb-AWYXb6a4swEg0MRL1lAItXeDThMhtGmNLE5pGZb-tOkefXI6D8MvvL8B-8_9BouvYF8h4SuUr4h8GTt05KEZE4QcJr5fVuhbs/s1600/Aughra_photo.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDtbkPwlDrUUtGYnH40lNqP35Adat5u9rQaIwDVf0sCb-AWYXb6a4swEg0MRL1lAItXeDThMhtGmNLE5pGZb-tOkefXI6D8MvvL8B-8_9BouvYF8h4SuUr4h8GTt05KEZE4QcJr5fVuhbs/s320/Aughra_photo.jpeg" width="236" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A witch walks into a bar... something<br />
something "a broom with a view"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Then comes exactly what I've been waiting for, this old crone with a wandering eye and a 20 foot aura of urinary incontinence causing. "I'm looking for some Adventurers!" she shouts. That wandering eye must be messing her up good because it's pretty frickin' obvious that I've got a cone-shaped hat with moons and stars on it and I'm hanging out with Sir clanks-alot and his own personal mini-me. She waddles over and offers us 50 thousand platinum pieces to climb down into a hole and bring her back a golden statue.<br />
<br />
Now I know what you're thinking: Fifty thousand platinum for some statuary relocation? Sounds totally legit, right? You don't get to be my age without smelling a fishy deal or two. We press her for an advance of two platinum and lo and behold the witch up-ends her purse and pours out fifty thousand platinum pieces and gives us two of them before magically sucking the rest of them back in. <span style="background-color: white;">I hadn't gotten this excited about something since three cannibals interrupted me one win away from claiming a seashell pipe at the last church Bingo night.</span><br />
<br />
I think I just found my future wife.<br />
<br />
So I'm headed into a hole in the ground to help some maniac art collector with a magic purse reclaim her long lost lawn ornament. Finally. This is what I call livin'. Otherwise quite probably known as soon-to-be dyin'.koboldstylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07664185537586798934noreply@blogger.com2